This entry is actually about running, mostly. I’m on a major sick day(s) and in lieu of running, I’ll write about it. We’ve had some frigid days this winter, hitting the -25 Celsius mark regularly. I’ve signed up for some winter runs and really hoped it wouldn’t be that cold. So far just an 8k, […]Read more "Cold runnings"
I debated writing about my feelings near the V-day, however, it is a pretty obvious hollow day for a lost spouse with no partner. It’s not my first Valentines, alone, without him, but it still sucks. I should point out that John and I never observed Valentines’, per say. My thought was that one day […]Read more "Happy every other Day…"
Hope We all cling to it. We all desperately seek it. We all need it. Without it, some of us can’t, and didn’t go on. It can be a fickle thing, a fleeting thing. It is always making us believe that tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow things will change. It often disappoints, but we forgive […]Read more "Hope"
Hi again. Holiday season was another load of sad smiles, empty hearts pretending we’re OK, and despite the love i felt from friends and family, it’s not the same. John is missed. I’m sure anyone who’s lost someone feels the same. I worked throughout the season, but got a 12 hour mini-christmas amidst a blizzard. […]Read more "What can i say…"
It seems to be a consensus amongst us -us being suicide loss survivors- that our grief is written on our faces. It turns out, it is not. People don’t see the loss. They don’t see the heartbreak. They don’t see anything but a face. It still kinda blows my mind when I realize this. It’s […]Read more "Inked"
The second year without my Behr has been in full swing for a few months now. I’m doing my darnedest to not focus on those kind of anniversaries. The not happy ones. I don’t get why friends of mine post things on Facebook about how it’s been x amount of time since their 70 year […]Read more "Reality bites"
John snored. It drove me nuts. I’m a very light sleeper and usually had to get up early for work, whereas he was a heavy sleeper and usually worked or stayed up late. I slept with earplugs just to block out the snorts and snores. He felt bad about about that, but then I have […]Read more "Empty beds"