Dance therapy

Running has been great. It helps my mind in a way that therapy does not. I must say that therapy has been good, as well and I encourage anyone to go and talk about your worries, your woes, your grief. I also encourage running. The rhythm, the breathing, the constant tread of your own feet. […]

Read more "Dance therapy"

Bad words

My Smart phone won’t prompt the word ‘suicide’. What the duck… fuck. I understand that making sure duck prompts first for the general population is a good thing, albeit frustrating. but c’mon. Suicide. It’s not a bad word. It’s a desperate act that leaves pain in its wake, but it’s a word. My phone has […]

Read more "Bad words"

Goodnight, ‘Pam

I’m the type of person who seldom takes painkillers. I’ve had fairly major surgery and still, just don’t use unless I’m in agony. I’m also the type of person who hasn’t ever mastered the art of a consistently great sleep. I can’t even nap. As you can imagine, after they took my John away in […]

Read more "Goodnight, ‘Pam"

Virtually Running

Hi. I went back to work about 5 months after John left. It was tough, as the insurance company was being a complete douchebage while i was off work. I still rage when i think about their absolutely inappropriate comments, and how they treated my broken heart and very messed up head like it was  […]

Read more "Virtually Running"

Books mark

John was an avid reader. Our home is small, but we have five substantial bookshelves.  Most of the books were Johns’, to be honest. I have my fair share, but his stash multiplied regularly. His guilty pleasure.  He couldn’t just sit and stare into space or busy himself gardening or tidying like i do. He […]

Read more "Books mark"


Hi I had a major setback this week. It wasn’t good. It wasn’t as bad as the first week, but it was frightening. All of the despair just raged its way right back in my face, my mind and my heart and sucked the hope right out of me. Alan Wolfelt, a grief… specialist? calls […]

Read more "Stay"

Hands and pinkie fingers

Hi again. i went for a trail run this morning. i’m still slow. i was thinking during this run (again) about hands. Not feet, hands. My hands were freezing! the temperature dropped about 20 degrees C from yesterday afternoon, and there was a nice chill in the air. Perfect running weather, really – unless you […]

Read more "Hands and pinkie fingers"