Hope

Hope We all cling to it. We all desperately seek it. We all need it. Without it, some of us can’t, and didn’t go on. It can be a fickle thing, a fleeting thing. It is always making us believe that tomorrow will be better. Tomorrow things will change. It often disappoints, but we forgive it every time. I’m here with hope right now and … Continue reading Hope

Inked

It seems to be a consensus amongst us -us being suicide loss survivors- that our grief is written on our faces. It turns out, it is not. People don’t see the loss. They don’t see the heartbreak. They don’t see anything but a face. It still kinda blows my mind when I realize this. It’s shocking, because I see it. I see the lines I … Continue reading Inked

Empty beds

John snored. It drove me nuts. I’m a very light sleeper and usually had to get up early for work, whereas he was a heavy sleeper and usually worked or stayed up late. I slept with earplugs just to block out the snorts and snores. He felt bad about about that, but then I have restless legs and flail. I occasionally kicked him in my … Continue reading Empty beds

Better Halves

If you’re lucky, you have or will find a half and they make you whole. John made me a better person, but I know we were great together. We had our issues, but always loved. We were two halves of each other. I’m doubtful I’ll ever find this again. Halves are funny things. You need two to make one, or two to make something fabulous. … Continue reading Better Halves