New subdivisions are taking over the forests and fields where I live. I don’t like it. It seems every time I drive or walk somewhere, there are more and more plywood frames, standing a mere 30 cm apart from each other, calling themselves homes. Every time I go to these new build areas, another farm has lost the battle against the town council; another homestead … Continue reading The black and white house
I had my dream… At least I think it was “my” dream. Everyone who loses someone has their own theory on how our loved one lets us know that they’re OK. And inevitably, whatever happens after our time on the Earth, we seem to end up “ok”. Some think it’s a sign like a flower that hadn’t bloomed for years, now blooms on the day … Continue reading I had a dream…
I debated writing about my feelings near the V-day, however, it is a pretty obvious hollow day for a lost spouse with no partner. It’s not my first Valentines, alone, without him, but it still sucks. I should point out that John and I never observed Valentines’, per say. My thought was that one day a year wasn’t possibly enough to show the love and … Continue reading Happy every other Day…
I prefer running in the woods. Trails have wonderfully uneven surfaces: rough, smooth, muddy or grassy. Generally in these woods, these trails, there are less people to say “wow. She’s slow” and less hardship on my body. There is less impact, more embracing the knees and shins. Concrete sidewalks can be sad, lonely places. Whipping by people’s homes – wondering if this beautiful yard belongs … Continue reading Cracks in the concrete
Hi I have very flexible ankles. So much so, that i can twist them inwards and walk on the outsides of them without feeling pain. I’m sure it’s not good to do that, but it is one heck of a party trick. It totally grossed John out. He thought it would cause long term damage, or something. meh… mostly, it grossed him out. I went … Continue reading Unstable
Such a simple social question between strangers, friends, co-workers. How. Are. You. Do they want the truth? Probably not. Shit. crappy. sucking, i’m holding in the rage, i’m barely hanging on, i’m on the verge of tears…. not the best way to start a day or five days with a co-worker you’ve never met. But saying “i’m fine” feels like a big fat lie. You’ve … Continue reading How are you?
The day John left me was the worst day of my life. It was the worst day of many peoples’ lives. His mum, his brother, his friends who were like brothers and sisters, my parents, my family… we all lost a piece of our hearts that day. Just so you know, that piece will NEVER come back. I appreciate the kindness associated with friends of … Continue reading write down your hurt…
Grief Runs 